121 Boy am I glad cows don’t fly

On the deer sculpture’s antlers a little bird hopped twice and flew away. It couldn’t leave fast enough. Uncle Joe’s and the Administrative Assistant’s billing and cooing made it sick. The only decent thing to do then, in tidy San Anselmo, was ralph in the Guss residence, where the result would blend in. As soon as it landed on JoJo’s and Kar’s bedroom window sill, the birdy hurled, not soon enough to forestall aching innards. The flight was probably half a mile from colloquial “San Anselmo” i.e. downtown, to the anathema of the amalgam of the ideal avenues Yolanda and Alder.
Besides, feathered creatures were susceptible to bad vibes, and this one’s tummy ache exacerbated the terrible mood it suffered off propinquity with the three good-for-nothings and/or nut jobs who remained in the house: John Guss the shifty dreamer, JoJo the lie-abed louse, and baby Drew’s mom, the catatonic schizophrenic counting the days and everything else she grasped subjectively.
JoJo snuffled. He thought he was dreaming. There normally was no life in the house except Guss family, the worthless Sunday drop-ins, and vermin.
“Peep, peep.”
JoJo opened his eyes to look for a shoe, and threw the night table lamp instead. Kar would provide another one, somehow.
“You want ‘Tweet’? I should play to stereotype? What do you say to some chirping?”
JoJo grabbed two rolls of pennies wrapped tight and threw them with as much force as semi-conscious contortions under sheets and blankets allowed.
“Peep peep. Chirp chirp,” The para-tweeting was clearly aggressive.
“S____ you!” JoJo barked. He sought the Guss family BB gun.
“Peep-peep-peep-peep-peep!” To further antagonize JoJo, the little bird told him the whole town, including Kar, now knew their marriage was a never-was.
“How do you know that?” JoJo posed the question to distract, rubbed his eyes to bide time, unsuccessfully racked his memory about stashing the air rifle.
The little bird said, with a straight face, “A little bird told me.”
It hopped twice on the window sill, and before flying away, thought of auditioning for Riverdance, if an avain version ever launched.


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