81 The Sourpuss Ninja goes boom

The Sourpuss Ninja rocketed from the Santa Cruz Mountains.
“‘The Cars That Go Boom.’ Ha! What about little old ladies that go Boom? Ha!”
She did a stutter shot over Kent Woodlands and blew out the windows at Bat Disease’s home when she broke back through the speed of sound.
“Ha!”
Her expertise in psychological ops pressed her intuition about Ross Valley’s needs.
In the Woodlands Market parking lot, _____ _____ marveled how Bat Disease’s face had changed from red to purple, surmounting his deep Hawaiian Tropic tan.
_____ _____ tapped Ross on the shoulder and said, “He just bit down on his cell phone!”
“How’s his daughter handling it?”
“She’s pounding the dashboard.”
The Sourpuss Ninja flashed a vibration off the rearview mirror of Ross’s convertible: “It’s still not the child’s fault, not yet. It’s what she’s learning from a rabid, narcissistic parent. The mother has thrown in the towel, or Mrs. Disease is a willing and able partner. The children always suffer. In comfort, yes, this one; but that won’t keep her from being insufferable.”
“Whew!” Ross reacted. “I get my money’s worth out of that one. All I asked her to do is pull the white-haired babe away from Alain.”
“Alain de Tochigi,” emoted _____ _____, “the Frisco Ninja.” She conjured up a script, a trailer, a voice-over.
They saw Bat Disease spit out the cell phone and join his daughter in pounding the life out of the dash, four Occidental fists of fury.
The Sourpuss Ninja shot high intensity bad vibrations at the monstrosity rivaling Bat Disease’s. The new block wall so appalling to the neighborhood was shattered in an single gray puff which dusted trees for hundreds of feet around. The neighbors would pray for a summer rainshower, despite all plans for garden parties mixing preppy parents and their college-bound facsimiles.
“Niagara Falls!” exclaimed _____ _____. It rung closely to a recent private screening she’d attended in Malibu. A monster had turned and shouted with perfect timing. Since she incorporated it now for a vivid moment in her life, _____ _____ thought of writing a short, sincere note to the actor’s descendents. It would be a lovely gesture she hoped they’d appreciate, and it was business, in her business. “You never know,” she thought.
“It’s why she’s a star,” thought the Sourpuss Ninja, who read minds.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: